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Rediscover Your Professional Identity: Part 1 in the "Mom's Bold Return" Series

Updated: Jan 16



When asked the common question, "So, what do you do?" at social events, many full-time mothers often pause before answering. Even though they have a professional past, they tend to discuss their children or their involvement with school first, as family life is now their primary focus.


The truth is, you are more than “just a mom”. Motherhood is probably the most expansive role there is, but it was never meant to be a total eclipse of who you are as a woman. 


If you feel as though your professional identity has taken a backseat after having children, you are not being left behind or losing your edge; you are simply in a season that requires a focused, intentional plan to integrate your roles of motherhood and work.



The Urgency Trap: Why the Drift Happens



The Eisenhower Matrix (also known as the Urgent-Important Matrix) is a simple but powerful framework used for prioritizing tasks by evaluating them based on two criteria: Urgency and Importance.


It organizes tasks into four distinct quadrants:


  1. Urgent and Important (crises, immediate deadlines)

  2. Important but Not Urgent (long-term goals, self-growth)

  3. Urgent but Not Important (demand attention but don’t move toward a goal)

  4. Not Urgent and Not Important (time-wasters, scrolling)





The goal of the Matrix is to focus as much time as possible on the 'Important but Not Urgent' quadrant (#2). This is where your long-term goals and self-growth live.


For a stay-at-home parent, this distinction is both critical and challenging. It is easy to feel trapped in the 'Urgent' quadrants because 'not important' never means 'unnecessary.' The urgent needs of your children are non-negotiable; they have to be handled just to get through the day.


However, it is important to recognize that while these tasks are vital for your family, they are often what deplete the energy you need for your own personal growth. By the time the 'urgent' demands of parenthood are met, there is often very little of you left to spend on the goals that move you forward.


The toddler’s lost shoe, the looming school deadline, and the endless cycle of household management are all urgent; they are absolutely important and demand your immediate attention to get out the door! However, when your entire day is consumed by reacting to urgency, the things that are "Important but Not Urgent," such as your personal growth, often get pushed to the side.


Over time, this creates a "drift." Recognizing this distinction is the first step toward moving from a reactive state to an intentional one. 


Now, let’s explore the 3 ways to rediscover your professional identity. These first steps lay the foundation for a focused, intentional plan. Whether you are returning to a career, shifting to part-time, or launching a new business, this process ensures a successful transition.


It's common to feel so far removed from your past self that you need a fresh start. If you are struggling to connect the dots, book a complimentary 30-minute chat, and we can map out how to start.



3 Ways to Rediscover Your Professional Identity After Motherhood



To move forward, it is helpful to look back at the professional spark that existed before your life became a series of urgent domestic tasks. However, it is equally important to pay attention to the new interests and opportunities that have presented themselves during this season of your life to begin this shift.


Exercise:


1. Identify Your "Pre-Mom" Superpowers 


Think back to your most successful professional moment. Perhaps it was a project you spearheaded, a difficult negotiation you settled, or a creative solution you designed. Ignore the job title for a moment and focus on the action. 


What specific skill did you use in that moment that you were proud of? How did it feel to be recognized for that specific strength? Maybe you were the master of logistics or a badass negotiator. 


Reflecting on these peak professional moments and the specific skills you leveraged (your superpowers)  is a powerful act of self-awareness. It helps you articulate your core strengths beyond a job description, identify the work that brings you the most genuine satisfaction, and intentionally seek out future opportunities where you can apply those unique, impactful capabilities.


2. Swap Your "Mom" Tasks With “Boss” Titles


Empower all that you do! Look at your current life through a professional lens. If you were a project manager in your former life, you haven't "stopped" being one; you are currently managing a complex, multi-person organization with shifting priorities and zero downtime. 


You are probably many things for your household: CFO, managing household budget and spending, Conflict Resolution Specialist, mediating sibling dynamics, or Head of Research, in charge of selecting schools and activities. 


Your skills have not vanished; they have simply been redirected. 


Recognizing your daily achievements as high-level, transferable professional skills is the key to rebuilding your confidence and clearly articulating your value for whatever comes next. It's time to give those daily wins the professional credit they deserve.


3. Let Your New Life Spark Your Next Move


The key to your next chapter often lies at the intersection of your old expertise and your new energy and focus. These new interests are not random. They stem from a curiosity that sparked from real-world daily problems or missed opportunities you have experienced as a mom. 


For example, your passion for interior design might have been sparked by the process of making your home family-friendly, or your deep interest in wellness and nutrition could stem from researching and preparing healthy family meals. 


This authenticity translates directly into passion, and passion is the fuel you need to start and maintain a new venture. Identifying this "missing piece" is how you determine what kind of side hustle or project will actually make you feel like you again.


Your next move, whether a career pivot or a new business, is likely hiding in a frustration you dealt with this week. Don't overlook the daily problems you solve; this is often where the 'spark' for your next move lives.



An Example: From the Courtroom to Sustainable Solutions


Consider Elizabeth, a former practicing lawyer now staying home with her young children. After a decade of high-stakes litigation, she initially felt her professional identity was fading into the background of domestic life. However, while managing her household, she became increasingly frustrated by the lack of durable, yet lightweight, non-plastic food storage options for families.


She didn't just "start a hobby"; she used her legal research skills to vet sustainable materials, her negotiation expertise to source manufacturers, and her analytical mind to draft a business plan.


By identifying that her "Professional DNA" was built on Advocacy and Problem Solving, she realized she wasn't just a mom looking for better Tupperware. She was an entrepreneur launching a mission-driven brand. She didn't need to return to the law to feel like a professional; she simply applied her existing expertise to a new, meaningful opportunity.




Reclaim the Woman You Are: The Next Step



Reclaiming your identity is not about doing "more" work; it is about doing work that reflects who you are. It is a common misconception that finding "something to call your own" requires adding a heavy burden to an already full plate.


In reality, the most sustainable ventures are those that feel like an exhale—a return to using the parts of your brain that have been sidelined by the daily demands of domestic logistics.


Once you identify your strengths, you can begin to look at how those skills, combined with your current life experiences, form the foundation of something that is yours alone. This isn't just about a "side hustle" for the sake of being busy; it is about creating a professional anchor. It is about building a role where you are the decision-maker, the strategist, and the creator. 


When you work from a place of alignment, the energy you gain from having your own identity far outweighs the effort it takes to build it.



Next in the "Mom's Bold Return" series: Identify Your Next Move





Ready to stop questioning and start building? 



If you are tired of the "urgency trap" and are ready to design a life that includes a professional identity you are proud of, let's get to work. Coaching provides the framework and the accountability to turn these reflections into a concrete plan.


Explore my Coaching Packages or reach out today to start your transition to the purposeful professional identity you were always meant to have.

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